unkle grumps.

went to chinavlack last night.. finally after a long time of not clubbing.. was supposed to go to ash's party at zouk, but its like kinda self-invited, and i'll feel awkward, so i decided not to go.. well, back to chinablack, had to wait in the queue for more than an hour.. cos it was "full-house" where non-members wait, and members can still go in like free.. so much for full-house.. came in, had a beer.. didn't drink much.. in fact, it was the first time i had so little to drink.. lol.. the music sucked.. they were playing music from different genres.. rnb, rock, trance, retro.. was damn boring.. didn't dance much.. the crowd were mostly chinese speaking muns.. haha.. damn boring la.. didn't realise time flew so fast.. we left the place at about 5.30am.. had a drink at fareast, then headed home.. damn difficult to get cans man.. dun know what's their problem.. there were like so many empty cabs, but none of them stopped.. anyway, gona play at crust tml night.. so, gonna sleep now.. school's tomorrow.. sigh.. boring..

wow.. its been, more than 3 weeks since i last blogged.. anyway, nothing much happening now.. just cut my hair last sat.. a lil' too short i guess.. so, been gymming AGAIN recently.. started on wednesday, just did gym today too.. gonna be tired out again tomorrow..

been thinking about some stuff the past few days.. the time i quit rugby, everybody started to avoid me.. well, almost everybody.. been close to ash, joel, and many others before i quit, would meet up for drinks, chill at swimming pools, club, gamble.. not anymore.. just found out that ash booked a table for his birthday at zouk tomorrow.. although i wished him, i didn't get an invitation.. well, ain't up to me to decide..

been getting further and further away from my usual group of friends too.. something's not right.. i need a life man, like seriously.. i need a companion, someone who can encourage me when i'm feeling down, like now for instance.. i need someone to laugh with, to cry with, to share all the feelings that are cooped up in myself.. sigh.. come to think of it, i absolutely have no close friends.. all the "close" ones are just normal friends.. i just don't have someone or some who would bother to scroll down their phonebook to look for my name and call me out to chill.. honestly speaking, i'd be happy if someone actually asks me out for a drink or whatever.. sigh.. i think i'm fading further away from God..

gonna work night shift tomorrow.. ain't got no life at all.. go to school, head home after school cos i can't find a kaki to chill, sometimes i go to work, sleep at home.. damn.. fucked up life.. my msn contacts are full, every night there are at least 50 people online, and i don't get any message from whosoever.. not even a hi.. i would have to make the first move.. sigh.. this is getting bad.. i need to think about my life now..

this blog is my only means of shouting everything out now.. ain't got no one around to do so.. sigh..

i've suddenly become a fan of paul van dyk.. decided to download his songs, even right now i'm listening to his songs on the lappy, radio, on my mp3 when i'm out, etc. addictive.. when to play at crust just now.. felt demoralised again.. johnny gave me shit about "$" problems.. saying if he were to pay me, he'd rather find someone else better than me and pay him.. wanted to tell him to go find another singer then.. bloody stingy ppl.. even the higher ranking ppl there tell me the same thing.. one thing that made me laugh was that johnny said he could sing damn well, saying he didn't want to start learning to play the guitar and sing.. well, when siti and me heard him sing, it was just hilarious.. siti was like making sounds of glass shattering.. haha..

anyways, maths paper tml morning at 8.30, so dead.. regretted not studying, now i know shit.. sigh.. gonna try to burn mid-night oil, if not i'll just sleep and face death tml..

thought about my birthday party (which is in may, haha!) and whats gonna happen.. will probably book a chalet at aloha loyang, with 4 bedrooms.. maybe i'll turn the whole living room into a dance floor with PVD music.. heh.. open up a bar at the dining table, hire a friend to be a bartender.. will have BBQ, $300 (or maybe more) worth of beer, 5 to 6 bottles of hard liquor.. i think it would be great.. gonna invite alot of ppl.. will prob charge $10 per person, with free flow of beer, house pours, food, and even a 3 day 2 night stay.. how cheap can that be?

well, i better get cracking.. enough said here.. ciao